Fool For Love
by JustJensThoughts
Summary: What happened after Spike founds Buffy crying all alone? Here’s my take. Heavy Spuffy content. One shot.


I'd had it! Bitch thinks she can just humiliate me, use me as she likes. Perpetually another round of Kick the Spike. I'm done being her lapdog!

I stormed through the bushes like the big bad, catching sight of her as soon as I broke through the other side. She was sitting on the porch with no one in sight. Perfect. She's all alone, unarmed and unexpecting.

I stopped just in front of her and clicked off the safety of my double barrel. Anger, bloodlust and adrenaline built inside me. Her head snapped up at the sound.

"What do you want now?" Her voice seethed of resentment as her words spilled out. My bitter anger dissolved when I noticed her tear stained cheeks and sad, puffy eyes. They gun lowered itself of its' own accord and my mouth opened before I consciously decided to speak.

"What's wrong?"

She crossed her arms in front of her and turned her face away from me. "I don't want to talk about it," she muttered.

The next time, I chose my words before forming them out loud. "Is there anything I can do?" I felt a twinge of desperation. I knew not her woes, but I knew that my undead heart had shattered at the sight of her so broken.

There was a time when I would've reveled at the scene. Instead, I go to her and plant myself on the steps, setting the already forgotten shotgun down beside me. The side of her face that I can see tells me that she's barely containing a wall of tears. It was instinctive at that point when I reached over to gently pat her on the shoulder. Also instinctively, I knew what to expect from my touching her. She loves to go for my nose.

The slayer's body language closed as a tiny noise escaped her throat. I sighed, she obviously didn't want me there. But how could I leave when she was obviously frightened of something. The slayer is rarely afraid, from what I've seen, which is more than most demons. Just as I made up my mind to go, something extraordinary happened; Buffy turned to me and laid her head on my shoulder.

I sat still as a statue, shocked by the turn of events. I should've wanted to push her off, but I only wanted to wrap my arms around her. While I sat there dumbfounded, she started to cry softly.

"Shh, Slayer," I soothed, rubbing small circles into her back. She was so small when she wasn't jumping up to kick my ass. She fit into my arms, like a little bird, pretty and sweet. She let out a full-on sob before she curled into my side. Buffy was so distraught that I felt her pain as real as if it were my own and all I wanted to do was put her back together again.

So, the harder she cried, the tighter I held her. "It's okay. Everything is alright, Sunshine." I was grasping, desperate to take away her unseen hurt.

And in that moment, hugging that beautiful, crying girl, I felt for the first time that I was right where I was supposed to be. It felt normal, like it was the most natural thing in the world. The purest embrace I'd ever felt.

A sort of calm washed over me, a hush. As she pressed closer to me, the sounds of her pain echoed through the night, silence continued in me. An impossible miracle and yet her closeness, her embrace quieted the ever-raging demon inside of me.

I wrapped my other arm around her and her cries become muffled by the skin of my neck. She slowly went from sobbing to a quiet weeping. All the while her warm breath constantly bathed my exposed skin, sending chills down my spine.

My mind reeled with all the questions one might expect me to have; about how I was a vampire and she was a slayer and how could I feel those things when we were who we were? But the feel of her skin on mine, her hand on my chest…. What would it feel like for her to caress me?

I was ripped from my thoughts as she seemed to return to herself. It felt like being ripped out of the most peaceful moment of your life. I instantly needed her back in my arms, for the world to be right again.

Buffy raised her melancholy eyes to meet mine and they were filled with disgust. For the first time in a long time, I felt my stomach in my throat and my eyes got moist. I swallowed back the pain, determined to keep my dignity. Well, what did I expect to see in her eyes? Love? Humph! I wasn't just a boy poet anymore. I'm not sure what she saw in my eyes, but her face softened. I wouldn't lose that if I could help it. I tried to convey all my emotions through my facial expressions.

"Spike," she said my name more sweetly than I'd ever heard her say it. "I'm scared for her," she sniffled. She was breaking my heart all over again by giving me those big, sad, Buffy eyes. Before that moment, she'd never unleashed their full power on me. I was floored by her beauty, followed by a swelling in my chest.

"I'm here," I repeated, feeling helpless. She hugged me tightly the second time, throwing her arms around my neck and pressing her body against mine. She loosened her grip and pulled back, stopping inches in front of my face. She drenched me in her sweet scent.

"Buffy-"

"Thank you," she blurted it out, effectively silencing whatever was going to come out of my mouth. I don't know what it was going to be, but it wouldn't have been have as smooth as I would've wanted it to be.

"I have no idea what's gotten into you, Spike, or me for that matter, but thank you. This is so stupid, but everyone wants someone to just show up when they're down, to just know that you need them around. You hear about it all the time; people know who's calling before the phone rings, or a visit just when they needed it most and yet I never seem to get that. Not from my friends or my sister, God, not even from my boyfriend, but here you are. You, of all people. Just when I needed someone, so thank you."

I tried to think of a reply, but my brain was skipping like a broken record. "I don't like seeing you in pain," I admitted, the words just tumbled out. She just looked at me in response, searching my eyes for something. I'm not sure what, but I gazed back into her soul and saw something I never expected; just two people. Not a vampire and a slayer. Just a man and a woman, forming a bond that neither of them knew they needed. She looked at me like I was someone worthy of her love, like I was someone she could care about.

Our faces were still very close when she spoke again. "What is this," she asked quietly.

"Does it matter," I asked, drinking in her vanilla laced scent.

"No," she said breathlessly as she seemed to grow restless. "But, I… I feel like… I… Like I need to.. Can I touch you," she stuttered until her sentence took form, leaving me baffled.

I could feel her need and desire rolling off of her in waves, it was tangible.

"Buffy," I whispered, my hand finding her face and without thinking, I pulled her in.

I pulled her swiftly to me, needing to feel her lips more than I needed blood to survive. Her eyes bulged as my lips crashed down on hers and I panicked. She was going to reject me, probably kill me and I'd probably deserve it. So, I decided to make the best of it. I twisted my fingers in her hair and wrapped my other arm around her waist, hugging her to me.

She gasped as she yanked away from me. "Spike," she sputtered out. "What the hell are you doing?" She stared at me like a predator. The voice in my head screamed at me to lie, play it down, pretend it was nothing, but that boy in me couldn't go through with it.

"Buffy.. I'm sorry, I just needed to touch you."

Her eyes bulged again.

"Not like that I just, ugh! I'm doing this all wrong. I just thought that maybe it wasn't just me, that maybe if I could hold you- Could you not look at me like that, I'm trying to…"

Where was I going with this?

"I've just never needed anything more than I need to be close to you, to be a part of you." My head dropped as my words failed me. I looked up to find her leaning back in towards me. I watch her until she's so close I can almost taste her. Her eyes danced over my face and then she caught me full on the mouth for a moment that was far too brief. She looked how I felt after our second kiss; like she was in awe.

"Could you kiss me like that again," she asked. I've been told I'm good with my lips and am pleased to see that the slayer is not immune to my skills. She bit her lip and I felt myself growl as I initiated the kiss, grabbing her up again. The slayer wanted to be kissed and she needed a good kissing. Who knows how long it had been since she'd had one? I knew there was no way Riley was kissing her that good. And I was up for the challenge. I started to lose control as her arms wrapped around my neck. I deepened the kiss and she moaned into my mouth. It was all I could do to not take her right there, right then, out on the porch.

"Oh, God, Buffy," I sighed, making my way to her neck as she gasped erratically.

"I love you. God, I love you so much!"


End file.
